An off-duty police officer from Massachusetts, currently on trial for allegedly pointing a gun at another officer, told the court on Wednesday how she "lost everything in a 15-second conversation" with her colleagues who had arrived to serve her with a restraining order.
North Andover Police Officer Kelsey Fitzsimmons also spoke about the terrifying moment when a fellow officer, Patrick Noonan, fired a shot that hit her in the chest, leaving her with a punctured lung. Fitzsimmons, 29, testified in court on Wednesday in her own defense as she faces charges of assault with a deadly weapon stemming from the June 2025 incident that ended in a chaotic gunfire incident.
Her Sob Story
She recalled feeling as though she was "drowning" as blood filled her lung, while fellow officers rushed to keep her alive. Fitzsimmons is facing assault charges for allegedly pointing a gun at police, but she says she was trying to take her own life after battling severe postpartum depression.
"I wanted to be alone with my firearm and take my life," Fitzsimmons said from the witness stand at her assault trial in a Lawrence courtroom. "I made that decision when I realized I had just lost everything in a 15-second conversation with my coworker."
The 29-year-old mother — dressed in a cream blazer with black-framed glasses and her hair neatly tied in a low bun — told the court how three officers arrived at her North Andover home on June 30, 2025, to inform her of a restraining order filed by her fiancé, Justin Aylaian. The order required her to temporarily give up custody of their infant son, Caden.
Fitzsimmons said the move completely caught her off guard. As she began packing her son's things, the reality of the situation hit her hard — she felt like her entire life was suddenly falling apart.
"Justin just broke up with me via restraining order. We have a wedding in four months. Caden is not going to be with me for two weeks. That's an eternity for a mom," she said, her voice breaking.
She added that the order even prevented her from being around her dog, making the situation feel even more overwhelming.
"My baby gone, my fiancé, my dog and my house — and I knew it was going to be my job too. Whatever I was accused of wasn't good because there was a restraining order," she said.
Making Her Life a Mess
Fitzsimmons also realized she likely wouldn't be able to afford the home she shared with Aylaian on her own salary, especially as a new mother without the ability to take on extra overtime shifts. At the time, the young officer — just two years into her career — had been set to return to work the next month.
She said that after deciding to take her own life, she tried several times to get the three officers to leave, not wanting them to be hurt or caught up in what she was about to do.
Moments later, Fitzsimmons picked up her service weapon while Noonan was standing nearby on the stairs. She raised the gun to her head and pulled the trigger — but it didn't fire because there was no round in the chamber.
Noonan had just entered when it happened, she testified. "With the gun pointing at my head, he said, 'Kelsey, no! Kelsey, no!'"
She said that when the gun failed to go off, she began to utter "f–k" — and in that instant, Noonan fired, shooting her.
"I couldn't say anything. I couldn't breathe," she recounted. "Why, Why did you do that?" she said she asked Noonan who held her hand.
"It hurts, it hurts," she recalled.
"It felt like I was choking, like I was drowning," she said, noting the bullet punctured her lung.
She said that while she was in the ambulance and later at the hospital, she kept repeating, "I'm a f–king idiot. I tried to kill myself with an unloaded gun."
Fitzsimmons admitted she initially resisted when paramedics tried to place an oxygen mask on her because she didn't want to be saved, but eventually she gave in. She was later airlifted by helicopter to Mass General Hospital, where she spent 53 days recovering from the gunshot wound and underwent five surgeries.
Earlier in the week, Noonan testified that Fitzsimmons had pointed her gun at him and pulled the trigger, but it didn't fire because it jammed. He claimed she then "tap racked" the weapon twice, successfully chambering a round, which led him to fire two shots until she dropped the gun and collapsed.
Noonan also said he believed she wanted to shoot him so she could get downstairs and harm Aylaian — a claim that prompted a tense stare between the two in court on Tuesday.
Fitzsimmons strongly pushed back against that version of events, saying she never wanted to involve anyone else. "I wanted to take my own life. I never pointed a gun at a fellow police officer. It never happened," she insisted.
Aylaian, for his part, testified that he had requested the restraining order out of concern that Fitzsimmons might hurt herself or their infant son.
Her defense team has argued that she was dealing with severe postpartum depression after giving birth just four months earlier.
Closing arguments are expected to begin on Thursday after the judge visits Fitzsimmons' home. Instead of a jury trial, Fitzsimmons chose to have Judge Jeffrey Karp decide her fate.
