Breakup thoughts run high amid coronavirus lockdown? Hold it for now, say experts

  • Experts say, it is normal to have breakup thoughts, but recommend that its best to hold the breakup for now

  • Pause and reflect by separating the 'problems' from 'being together'

  • A website has been created for documenting quarantine couple stories

Couples are experiencing two kinds of problems with the quarantine after the coronavirus lockdown. One, they spend their time without meeting each other, staying apart, uncertain about the next meet. Two, the opposite of the latter, couples are forced to be indoors with their partners. Psychologists say that thoughts on breakups and strains in such situations are not abnormal, but how we deal with them is the crux of the matter.

The first case where partners are staying apart, they communicate virtually. A developing relation may certainly grow with both conflict and understanding of each other. But not meeting or not communicating effectively during crucial times, such relations may experience the trajectory toward a breakup, say experts.

Couple (Representational Image) Facebook

The second case where couples stay together has its own dynamics of getting into problems on top of the arguing habits of couples, taking it to a nodal point. Danni Zhang, a psychologist and chief of New Vision Psychology recently told Bustle that being forced to spend more time together may get into thinking of breakup.

Lesli Doares, a couples consultant says that coronavirus stress would unexpectedly make one transfer a 'generalized anxiety' into a 'negative lens' in a relationship.

Don't rush into a breakup

She recommends that couples should not rush into a breakup due to COVID-19 stress, unless there is harm, such as physical or emotional abuse. It would be best to hold the breakup for now, she says. Both partners should mutually take time to consider reasons for each other's behavior, instead of prolonging arguments.This is because coronavirus related stress would add to overall stress impacting the relation and thoughts of breakups, she advises.

Separate the 'problem' from the 'consequence being together always,' says Doares. It is important for individuals to have some space 'to breathe and think.'

Breakup story
A quarantine couple story The Social Distance Project

A website for quarantine couple stories

Meg Zukin, social media editor at Variety, tweeted recently asking people to share couple drama and experiences during the quarantining period with their partner. This move saw her inbox filled up soon, which she published with permission in Google Docs and asked readers to donate $1 in order to access such stories.

The donations went to a charity to relieve the financial burden on American families. After Zukin raised more than $5,000 in only two days, she made a website called 'The Social Distance Project' turning all docs into a free and public website. Here is the link.

Related topics : Coronavirus
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