Licensed Mental Health Counselor Cousin Pat aka Dr. Patrick Argiro provides insight on divorce and what he learned from his. He does this in hopes of helping other people, men and women to cope with going through the pain and anxiety of a divorce.
The process of divorce can be a difficult and trying experience for everyone involved. Whether you initiated the divorce or were the one left behind, it is normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. Coping with the emotions and chaos of a divorce can be a challenge, but it is important to take the time to heal properly and move forward.
Cousin Pat says the first step to getting over your divorce is to accept your feelings. The emotions associated with divorce may be uncomfortable, such as grief, sadness, anger, and anxiety. Some days might feel like a roller coaster, but holding off from expressing or dealing with these emotions can make them worse. Allow yourself time to process the emotions that come up and to express them in healthy ways. Utilize a support network of family, friends, and counselors to talk about your painful experiences.
Grieve the lost relationship. Many couples enter into marriage with the expectation that it to last. Getting past a divorce involves grieving the possible end of a shared life and the missed expectations. Give yourself permission to mourn the loss of the relationship in whatever way is needed.
Practice self-care. Prioritize activities that bring you joy, such as taking a yoga class, or inviting friends over to watch a movie. Connect with activities that make you feel good and find ways to celebrate yourself. Following a healthy diet, getting plenty of sleep, and exercising regularly can also help manage stress.
Create your new life. After some time to heal, it is important to create your own identity separate from the relationship. Take this time to re-discover yourself and what makes you fulfilled. Revisit hobbies or other activities that were put on hold during the marriage. It is also beneficial to set life goals and to plan for what you want in the future.
Forgive yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself, forgiving yourself for any mistakes that were made in the relationship. This will help move past any shame, guilt, and resentment.
Finally, focus on the present moment. It is easy to become consumed by the memories of what used to be. Stop repeatedly going over the details of your divorce and be in the present. As time passes, you will begin to adjust to your new life.
Getting over a divorce can be a long and difficult process, but it is possible. By accepting your feelings, practicing self-care, creating goals, forgiving yourself, and living in the now.
Remember, moving forward after a divorce takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and take things one day at a time. With time, you will be able to heal and start a new chapter in your life.
