Can highly successful CEOs and Management Executives enjoy a highly successful, thriving long-term marriage when they are so focussed on their aspirational quest?
The general belief is that they can't, and they don't because such intense focus on their business leaves them nothing much left for their intimate romantic relationship. They get caught between two passions, and whichever they spend the most time and focus on wins.
However, it does not have to be this way. Both passions can be enjoyed and maximized simultaneously, with one enhancing the pleasure of the other mutually.
Just like the pathway - or trajectory - to the top in any field has its challenges that require self-education and increased self-awareness, so does creating an enduring marriage has challenges that require self-education and self-awareness.
There are three key parts to how CEO's get where they want to be:
â¦ First, they pay attention to their intention. Second, they maintain a sharp focus on their goals and aspirations. Their adrenaline-fueled drive is sustained by this relentless pursuit of intentional, on purpose, deliberate actions.
â¦ They equip themselves with the best knowledge and skills they can find. While most are naturally brilliant in their unique way with giftedness in a specific skillset and gold nuggets of wisdom may accidentally come their way, most would agree that getting to the top and staying there requires a rigorous pursuit of ever-increasing knowledge plus fine-tuning the critical skills of maintaining excellence.
â¦ They know they can't be the best in every area of their business. And surround themselves with people who are better than them in critical areas.
The same three key parts apply to creating a long-term, sustainably thriving marriage.
â¦ Paying attention to this intention, not just at the beginning when the "love bubble" is at play. Paying attention to the purpose of the beautiful long-range life together.
â¦ Educate and find out what to do as life together unfolds, and they fall out of step with each other. Irritations arise and turn into big blowouts. Neither partner knows how to repair hurt, apologize with sincerity and restore harmony. Not enough attention is invested in the deep connection of coupledom and distance grows. Equip themselves with this specific knowledge and skillset
â¦ Source and embrace specialized relationship guidance specific to their driven nature and unique circumstancesâthat high-end couples expert whose knowledge and competence are akin to that of their exemplary business confidants.
There are FOUR questions partners ask when either one or both are high performing successful executives:
â¦ "Why isn't she - or he - grateful for all I provide, all that she has?"
â¦ "Why doesn't he - or she - appreciate all that I do that supports what he or she does?"
â¦ "Why doesn't she - or he - understand the pressure I am under?"
â¦ "Why doesn't he - or she - understand how his - or her - stress impacts me?"
While these arise in most families, they are the critical repetitive themes that fracture couples with high-performing executives.
The breakdown in warmth and connection results from FOUR critical interpersonal elements.
Everyone has core beliefs about life in general and, more specifically, about how couples "should" operate. These beliefs drive people's expectations and assumptions about how their loved ones "should" show love and care for them and how important they are to them.
EXPECTATIONS and ASSUMPTIONS
These are set up by everybody's beliefs and bring so much discontent, even misery, to each other when they are way out of alignment. Expectations and Assumptions drive Anticipations with positive anticipation lead to enjoyment and fulfillment when met. However, the gaping hole left when anticipations are not met leaves people feeling let down, often overwhelmed with heartache.
If couples truly understand how this gaping hole is inadvertently created and how they can easily prevent this heartache, their love is rekindled. Their life together is revitalized.
Dee explained, "Whether it's a positive or negative attitude, it comes from how we see ourselves in relation to our partner or vice versa, how we see our partner in relation to oneself.
Whether we are unhappy together with high conflict or have an empty void of disconnection, we will see him or her in a negative light, which shows an unpleasant attitude. It could be accusatory, belittling, competitive, or even overt boredom."
The tone is the verbal expression of attitude.
Dee said, "It's the delivery of the message which sticks. It's what we remember when we cool down after a fight, or the memory of the tone blocks us from warming up again when a repair attempt is made after an upset.
We can't unhear tone and attitude. An accusatory attitude with a hostile tone leaves a residue of bad feelings, often heartache, which can take hours or days to put behind us. A dismissive 'put down' lasts in our emotional memory and drives us offside from our partner."
These four elements are not exclusive to high-performing couples; however, the approach to fixing them requires a specific set of skills and coaching techniques specific to those driven people who have a great deal at stake and want fast results.
Fast is the operative word here. What does it mean? Fast is the only way because by the time help is sought, these couples have often reached breaking point, and it's urgent. There is no time to dally around with testing this or that approach. They must hit that nail on the head at the outset.
High achieving executives typically have around a 90-day tolerance for change to be implemented. Hence FAST means optimizing this 90-day window. In just 90 days, with the correct specific coaching, they can achieve a complete marriage turnaround from frosty, switched-out disconnection to warm, tuned-in alignment, from bitter, hostile nastiness to kind, caring togetherness. This requires a unique fusion of powerful relationship repair knowledge and skills, created by Dee Tozer: the expert Couples Master Coachâ¢ï¸.
Visit her website now and watch this crucial 12-minute clip to see how this will change the most precious part of "your life: your marriage. It includes case studies from others in your position."